Let's Talk

You are making choices every second of every day. Life I'm sure is hectic for you as it is for everyone. Work, family, friends, finding time to fit in hobbies and any number of other distractions that crop up monopolise our time. Wouldn't you like to just say fuck it. I'm having some real time for myself?

We like to indulge ourselves with chocolate, a glass of wine and occasionally hit the luxury Spa Day but do those things actually recharge the batteries or make you feel ready to take on the world.

What I know is a bloody good session with my partner ticks all those boxes and leaves me ready to seize the day. Those powerful feel good endorphins get released, my human touch barometer is brimming and suddenly my everyday tasks are focussed and not such a drag.

So why is it then that so many people have a stigma around not only experiencing intimacy but also talking about it. I hear so many conversations filled with innuendos supported with flirty behaviour it has come as a surprise that my love of Sensual Massage has caused quite the conversation.

I feel that much of the conversation centres on morality. How could I possibly want to help women feel better about themselves through massage without having sex with them? Well the honest truth here is I want to keep clear boundaries. I have invested in a website, been mentored by a marketing genius, consulted many of my friends to create a brand and a safe space for women to be able to relax and explore their thoughts and feelings about intimacy and sexuality free from judgement. If I wanted to have sex I could have done that a lot cheaper. The sad truth about that is I would have probably just been patted on the back and called a Jack the Lad.

The morality question also plays in the other direction. What if someone in a relationship contacts me about a massage? I would first like to make clear that I don't encourage anyone to cheat. But I also don't judge. We all go through tough times and how people cope is their journey. What I will say to anyone thinking about having this kind of service who is in a relationship is to think about talking to your partner. It is very tough to have a conversation about your wants and needs when you quite possibly feel ashamed and potentially scared to share and be vulnerable with your partner. Why that is, is personal to you and being able to talk about it would be a huge step forward in the trust you both have in each other after all no-one wants to be hurting the love of your lives feelings.

From another perspective there are not many avenues out there where men can get help and to be coached as to how to be intimate with your partner. I'm not a great lover of porn but it definitely has an Alpha male vibe to it. Where bigger, and longer, and thicker is best and having the stamina of 10 men is expected just to be able to get into a room with a woman. This, as we all know is fantasy but the brain is a dangerous place when insecurity creeps in. As a man we are told to be assertive and know what to do in the bedroom and if you don't thats weakness or you are less of a man. Being able to talk to your partner about these insecurities is extremely tough, especially if you have been brought up in a strong male dominated environment. So why not book a couples experience. Learn a few techniques to blow your partners mind but most importantly learn about yourself and each other. Thats pretty damn powerful.

On this journey I didn't think that it would be something that my coaching experience of 20 years would benefit anyone. I must admit I thought I would just be able to help women. Now through the network of people I've met since starting the massage its been amazing to see how sensual massage has helped couples to forge stronger bonds together through learning about each other, listening to each other and gaining beautiful insights into how each partner feels through the most intimate and vulnerable moments. As a practical person I think this kind of hands on approach to relationship building has a place next to the traditional talking therapies. Oh and why not look at it as a fun experience. Who doesn't like their partner exploring their body after all.

It occurs to me that I have approached this topic in quite the therapeutic manner. The benefits of a sensual massage from a relationship stand point and how it can heal. But what about just wanting to lie back and be spoiled. What if you just want to be able to switch your phone off, close the laptop and leave the kids with the grand parents and treat yourself. Well if I'm being honest thats what this is all about. FUN. I love the idea of women being empowered to say "Hey, I want to be satisfied. I have some needs that need addressing. I want 8 orgasms! so hop on the good foot and do the bad thing and lets fucking go". If thats you then you then we will get on famously.

If you're a bit of a podcast listener then give my Spotify Channel a try. I am starting out on this sensual journey and enjoy talking about the experiences I have been having. Some say it's a good listen. I would love to hear any feedback or ideas you would like to hear about:

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME..

ALL FINGERS & THUMBS

GARETH

Project-O Podcast is now available on Spotify HERE>>>>>