There is no such thing as Vulnerability

As I sat back and watched the hottest girl in the school slide my trousers off and take my eager and excited cock in her mouth it felt like I had sumitted Everest. I was about to have one of the best moments of my 15years on planet earth. I could hear the angels singing and I could just picture the smile on my face when it becomes public knowledge I had scored with the girl that all the boys wanted.

Then all of a sudden I felt the jagged edge of teeth on my foreskin. I ignored it and tried to focus. The sensation of teeth scraping down my frenulum sending waves of pain signals to my brain. I was having a huge fight or flight moment. DO I suck it up as she was hot as fuck and surely must know what she is doing or do I shake her off like an excited Jack Russell humping my leg?

At this crucial junction, contemplating losing my manhood I was taken back to a moment a few weeks earlier. I had got myself it a dangerous liaison with Hot Chicks best friend. She too had decided to pin me down and adopted a 69 position. A position I would become very fond of in the future but sadly not now, as she also started trying to shave my bellend with her teeth.

Surely this isn't right I thought. These being my first encounters with fellatio and having no reference point I was confused and just a little panicked. Had they been to the same BlowJob school? Was this what guys were into? (as it turns out from this website some are 😂).

I decided to take a safety first approach (one I am not too accustomed to) and managed to grab a handful of hair and gently pull her off my now red raw member. Taking every precaution not to activate some kind of PitBull lock jaw event and be disfigured for life.

For the next 30plus years I have never been quite able to fully relax when a blowjob is offered. You may call that PTSD or you may call it not being vulnerable but what does being vulnerable actually mean?

I have now thankfully had a few relationships. Some with hot chicks and some with training partners. I have also interacted with a lot of people and couples through work and have found 1 common theme throughout. If you are not prepared to say what you want, discuss your needs and address any 30 year old blowjob traumas you are going to be very unhappy.

I don't think it is vulnerability when it comes to being able to open up and talk about your wants and desires. I think that you are with the wrong person who just doesn't get it. Who might not be in the same place in life as you are and not ready to join you on the path you need to happiness.

Far too often people stay together and forego happiness for kids, finances, friendship circles and any number of reasons. It is hard to truly follow your heart and desires when everyone around you is on a different planet.

You only get one shot at life and all to often you put others needs in front of your own. I know for sure I have done that and in the end have recieved little to no thanks. What I have learned is that you need to be bold, you need to be brave and you need to do what is right for you. If you do that then you are on the right path to happiness. If, like me that leaves you skint, homeless and with a few less hangers on then it's just a starting point to the next chapter. Once you are open to the idea you are important and worthy good things will come your way

I have now been following my own sensual journey for a couple of years. I have found someone that I dont need to be vulnerable around because she gets me and thinks my journey is kind of cool and wants to explore it with me. I have met all sorts of people from many different backgrounds who started in a position just like you are now. Possibly feeling a little trapped, potentially feeling a little lost and not sure how or where to start your own journey.

Here are a few steps to help:

Step 1 - Be brave and talk to your partner. They might just surprise you and be thinking the same. If not then at least you can move on knowing you tried.

Step 2 - Dip your toe in. Make time for each other. Put a date in the diary. Turn off your phones. Heat up some oil and just start exploring each other. It doesn't have to be perfect. Put the fun back into spending time with each other.

Step 3 - If you need some professional help you can approach it in 2 ways. You can talk about with a therapist or you can get some hands on training with a Massage Coach. Personally I am a great believer in taking action over talking. It is daunting trusting another person so intimately. I would suggest doing some research, google sensual masseuse, check their reviews and I always book a call to answer any questions with prospective clients. Once you take the plunge and book an appointment just communicate your needs. I have a waiver that you can tell me exactly what you are looking for as many massueses do. Then lie back and relax and let the good times roll.

I hope that acts as a little nudge to get started on your sensual journey. I know once you get started you will find yourself some pretty amazing adventures with some pretty amazing people. Happy Trails.

All Fingers & Thumbs
Gareth

Project-O Podcast is now available on Spotify HERE>>>>>