To Kiss The Girls or Not To Kiss The Girls

Today I got introduced to a Feelings Wheel. I've never heard of it before but was educated as to how it becomes useful in therapy and dealing with trauma. Apparently acknowledging feelings elicits a dopamine response that makes you happy. Who would have thought acknowledging feelings would be a game changer.

As I looked around the wheel I could see that joy led to intimacy and connectedness, which in turn led to love amongst other adjectives. Tenderness, belonging and being seen all things that come up regularly when discussing a sensual massage.

Many conversations start with motive and usually start with the client looking to find those feelings of connectedness and intimacy. Why those things are missing is for another post.

Now when I was outed and had to go through the bullshit opinions of narrow minded people the overiding feedback was that it was all about sex. Me selling it and women both vulnerable of not being incapable of resisting my electric charm and wit 😉.

As its turned out sex has not come up once. That could be because I state that I am not offering that service but why then does kissing get asked for pretty much every time? This is something I am also not offering as part of the massage.

Let me ask you the question: Is kissing more intimate then sex?

I have had many rendezvous where I would happily put my junk in the oven but won't entertain kissing. I almost need more of a connection with the person to be able to lip lock the life out of them, which is funny because I do love a good snog.

It could have something to do with another trauma I experienced while experimenting with all the girls as a teenager. This particular episode involved a girl I had no interest in but we were cracking on nicely. Having that good old play ground romance. She was bigger than me and kept whacking me. As I have become more accustomed to Fetlife I now realise this was the early signs of a dominatrix, grooming me to abuse me 🤣.

Once she had softened up her prey she went for the kill. I had no choice but to open wide and brace for impact. She slid what could only be described as a massive slug in my mouth. It literally filled my entire face and she tongue fucked me at will. I was at her mercy. My oxygen depleted immediately and I slipped into my anaerobic threshold to survive the onslaught. Luckily she disembarked her massive tongue from my face after about 30seconds before I turned blue and suffered irreversible brain damage.

From that day forward I was possibly damaged 😉. Kissing then became a trust issue and one I'm still getting over. I should possibly head to a therapist myself.

Kissing is a very personal thing. Technique, speed, force, tongues in or no tongues it is a minefield of does and don'ts yet done right there isn't much better. Is it the most intimate of actions let me know in the comments.

For Now

All Fingers & Thumbs

Gareth

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